My search of a LEADER

Let me share with you one most important thing you need.

YOU need a mentor. Yes. A leader who will be there to support and guide you to reach your career goal.

During my first year, I would always expect my seniors to sit with me and guide me, and mentor me. But, it doesn't happen all the time. I've shifted from one workplace to another a few times because I felt I'm not getting the support I needed, or maybe for family reasons, compensation, or due to too much stress until my mental and emotional health was affected. Plus, I struggled and got shocked by how fast was the pace.

In a fast-paced environment like Singapore, people might expect you to 'know everything' when you applied for a job especially if you already had related experiences. So? It will be tough.

Right now, I am happy that I have established trusting relationships with the people I work with. I am literally immature at first, I will decide based on my emotions and I became a quitter.

So, what kind of leader do you want to work with? Let me share mine.

  1. Vision

A leader who leads effectively and ensures everyone is on the same boat, same path, and goals. A person who can see the big picture and learns to communicate why the task is important, and why each contribution is crucial. This leader wants long-term success. This leader will train rather than criticize. Choose a leader who knows how to set measurable goals and milestones. Lastly, someone who can articulate passion- not only when things are going well, but also when times of challenges.

  1. Integrity

A mentor who models integrity. A leader who'll remind you always to "Do the right thing" Not someone who will let you lie or make you say something that doesn't exist in the practice. I will choose a leader who is honest and true. Always.

  1. Collaboration

Do you prefer to work with a team or alone? Well, I am used to doing things alone. But(somewhere somehow), our leader showed trust, confidence, and support, TO EVERYONE. I was engaged and everyone on the team to achieve a common goal, to be excellent in everything we do. If we fail, it's not the end of the world. Failure is an opening of new learning opportunities. "It's okay Cloydane, now you learnt" I couldn't forget. I can say I am empowered and encouraged to speak up and to take risks(I am a very shy type, quiet and scared to speak. I have no confidence at all, but now I learnt. One last, be with a leader who encourages open and honest discussion and focuses on effective conflict resolution, not someone who will attack you personally and professionally, NO and NEVER.

  1. A leader who shows genuine love to his/her staff

All I know is that anyone will be happy if a leader shows appreciation, recognise, and offers encouragement to staff. A leader who is sincere and considerate to everyone especially when anyone in the team faces life challenges, someone who will listen and help you figure things out(because obviously, this person knows better than you and is more experienced compared to you). I will never forget what she told me, "Why think what other people will say or think about you?" I love how she made me realise that I should think about what is good for myself and my family. So, yes, this trait is a must for a leader.

  1. Flexible when possible, but have firm boundaries

Other people might not see this. I would say that a leader should set the expectation of excellence, but is sensitive when the team members communicate being overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed at first, I opened up and shared my challenges. I thought no one will understand my weakness and issues, but I was wrong. I hope everyone finds a mentor who sees every individual's strengths and understands everyone's weaknesses. Because I found one.

Well, the rest is history. I hope this helps you think about what kind of leader you would like to have and be like in the future.

These traits might not work for everyone, but at least know what are the good(or best) traits you are looking for or you want to possess because one day, you might be in this position and your staff will surely follow your steps. Remember that your leadership reflects on your staff.

How do you give feedback? How do you accept feedback ?

Feedback is ESSENTIAL

Do you find it difficult to give or accept feedback? Well, I was.

Before I started working, I already have this very "sensitive" heart. With every word or feedback from my teachers, I tend to overthink and punish myself. Until I learned to accept and use them to be better. Now, feedback became essential to me.

There's a lot to consider when delivering our feedback and one thing is that it has to be well-composed. Also, please choose the location or place. Small bits of praise and appreciation can be shared among the wider team. On the other hand, criticism that is shared in front of your employee's peers will be shameful and embarrassing. Then, set the right tone. PLEASE, censor yourself properly and use a neutral tone. There's a lot more but I will say EMOTIONAL Intelligence is the key, BE CONSIDERATE! Present in a way that is helpful for the person.

I am sure you can search online about what is constructive feedback, or you might have an idea about it. From my readings, constructive feedback means giving comment that is helpful to the recipient. It is a criticism but this makes the recipient feel that you want them to improve and not fail at any point. For instance, we mostly provide feedback to children so they'll be encouraged to do better and put extra effort into their task. Also, constructive feedback is not always positive rather it can be focused on the areas where improvement is needed. So if you cannot accept constructive feedback, there must be something wrong.

At this point in time, I learned how to give feedback without offending a person or making him/her feel attacked. These five things helped me build good relationships and better help people to improve.

  1. Constructive

  • Simply positive and allows development.

  1. Respectful

  • By keeping on point and avoiding using language that would cause the recipient to go defensive. Showing RESPECT includes our body language.

  1. Relevant and factual

  • Should be ideally customized for every learner and not biased- do not personally attack the person, focus on the outcome, and review.

  1. Open

  • Allow the recipient to speak and listen to what the person has to say.

  1. Non-judgmental

  • Be helpful and be aware. Have a heart giving the feedback and not just for the sake of doing it.